Not Everything is Visible

Chronic illness isn’t always visible! For 25 years I’ve kept my mouth shut. For 25 years I’ve been the best at hiding my physical inabilities. For 25 years I never brought my health up in conversation. For 25 years I’ve chose to sit in silence and hold my own. I’m over it, when I say I don’t want a drink, I DON’T WANT A DRINK. I should not have to explain my situation to every person, I should not have to give my life story to those who will forget me tomorrow. I respect those who respect me, if you ask and I say no, and if you say “are you sure?”, that’s fine. I understand someone being polite versus rude. The nurses who have to do my exams and ask the questions, I understand it’s protocol. It’s the people say “well you look fine!” or “that’s the only option?”. If you paid me every time I heard that, I’d be able to pay for my transplant! Recognize that just because some may look great on the outside doesn’t mean they are on the inside. Let me explain it for you as to what you don’t get to see. When I go out and do something for fun, I’m dead to the world afterwards. Don’t even try and call it adulting because it’s not. I went to an appointment in Indy the other day, 3 hours I spent at my appointment. I slept 2 hours on the way back, got inside the house and took a 3 hour nap. Woke up from my nap ate dinner and went back to bed and slept till 12:30pm the next day. I was dead asleep, didn’t wake up once that night. I slept for 15 hours folks, in total that day/night. I may look fine, but my body is compensating every single day and it’s not only physically exhausting but mentally. Recognize that not everyone ones battles can be seen on the outside. Walk with open eyes and open heart, being understanding even when there is no physical evidence in front of you.