I’ve Got a Feeling

How do I feel? How have I been feeling? I feel grateful but I have struggled with feeling needy. I have been feeling needy because in order for me to get better I had to ask someone to get worse for me to thrive. My cousin is nothing shy of a blessing to me. He had to get a glimpse into my reality, experience the pain that I endure and we had to sit back and compare how one another are doing in recovery. We are going through it together, but it is something I wish I didn’t have to ask someone to do for me. Now with my new complications I have had to rely on my husband Paul. He had to pick me up, to get in and out of the car to try and get treatment. He had to move my legs for me and then pick me up to go to the bathroom. This man had to sit me down so I could use the bathroom and pick me up so I could get off the toilet and clean up. He would have to get me dressed while I tried to move as much as I could. He did this morning and night. I physically couldn’t care for myself. Going up and down the stairs was next to impossible but Paul was right there to help carry my weight. I leaned and tugged on him, taking everything one step at a time. I was often wincing in pain the entire time doing any movement, trying to hold back tears. I can’t thank these two men enough that I have in my life, they have truly given their all to be everything I needed them to be. They are the reason I’m able to stand today! I am grateful but sometimes I’m needy. It’s okay to ask for help just remember not to take the help for granted!